# New_post
2026-04-20T12:00:00
Test test please work
# Start
2026-04-30T22:40:00
Hellooo!!!
I know that it's quite dumb to call this the start but it's the first -actual- blog on this site, yayyy!
I had a reallyyyy busy day today, I woke up early cause I had slept late to resolve some issues with my love (we talked for hours and everything is great once again)
I had my first psychiatry appointment after 3 months today, I told her about my relationship and the problems that I was facing -ngl I'm causing most of them- I think it was a really efficient session, I have another appointment for 22nd of may.
I had to leave home early -it's literally thursday istg- because my parents are going on a trip to the balkans!! I hope that they'll bring me some stuff too :3
Since tomorrow is the 1st of may, my roommates are gone so I'll be alone for the next 3 days, Breno is also gone for the weekend because he has a camping trip.
I know that I'll miss him a lot, it'll be okay :(
I love him more than everything, happy 247 days together my love, I cherish every single moment with you.
-your love, Raninho
[tag] away, therapy
# When he's away
2026-05-01T22:07:00
Good evening internettt, I just wanted to make a quick post about my day.
I'm missing my boyfriend a lotttt and it's safe to say that I spent the entire day getting off, eating, crying and watching bojack horseman, I'm so damn productive.
I ordered food for the first time this year, hooray!!
Turns out, eating everyday doesn't make you fat it just gives you energy, I feel like I'm getting better with this.
Raninho out, I feel proud of myself ngl.
[tag] therapy, food, mental
# AP Psychology and exhaustion
2026-05-11T20:31:00
I'M GONNA DIEEEEEEEEE
I realised that I haven't updated this in a while oopsies. Honestly I've been too mentally occupied to even recall that this existed in the first place.
As you can understand from the headline, I've got an exam tomorrow, how fun!!!
I know that I should be fully confident in my ability to get a 5 on ts, I have no idea why I feel like I'm underqualified
On top of that, I don't think that I'm getting any better mentally lmao, I've fallen back to every single bad habit that I've grown out of. Not really proud of myself.
My body image problems are worse than ever, just the right time to struggle with body dysmorphia istg. I honestly feel fatter than before and I can't trust anything to evaluate what my real weight is, whether I've gained weight or not, so I simply won't leave it to luck and go back to pushing my body to the absolute limits.
Because why not?
I'm honestly tired of this body I'm at my absolute limit lmao.
Today I cut my hair as a way of directing my frustration somewhere else I don't think that I have place left on my thighs to direct my anger there.
Sooooo uh, I'll probably post an update tomorrow about how my exam went, I'll go to my dorm and take a relaxing shower (lies and lies hahahadskladsljkadsjkld, showers never help me relax just make me hate myself even more)
Now that I'm on creatine (I'm using a nice mix w a bunch of vitamins and electrolytes) I'll try to see many days without eating ahahaha, I gotta stop being such a fat bitchh mfgmkfmmgfmhf
I should probably delete this post later on ahahaasjlljkads
That's all from me, Ran out, I hope that I won't throw myself off of the clock tower.
ps. I figured out how to add images
[tag] mental, food, schoolwork
On top of that, I don't think that I'm getting any better mentally lmao, I've fallen back to every single bad habit that I've grown out of. Not really proud of myself.
My body image problems are worse than ever, just the right time to struggle with body dysmorphia istg. I honestly feel fatter than before and I can't trust anything to evaluate what my real weight is, whether I've gained weight or not, so I simply won't leave it to luck and go back to pushing my body to the absolute limits.
Because why not?
I'm honestly tired of this body I'm at my absolute limit lmao.
Today I cut my hair as a way of directing my frustration somewhere else I don't think that I have place left on my thighs to direct my anger there.
Sooooo uh, I'll probably post an update tomorrow about how my exam went, I'll go to my dorm and take a relaxing shower (lies and lies hahahadskladsljkadsjkld, showers never help me relax just make me hate myself even more)
Now that I'm on creatine (I'm using a nice mix w a bunch of vitamins and electrolytes) I'll try to see many days without eating ahahaha, I gotta stop being such a fat bitchh mfgmkfmmgfmhf
I should probably delete this post later on ahahaasjlljkads
That's all from me, Ran out, I hope that I won't throw myself off of the clock tower.
ps. I figured out how to add images
[tag] mental, food, schoolwork